creating a safe space for growth

Dr. Randy Moredock LCMFT, LCPC

Providing couples, individual, and family therapy in Lawrence, KS

GLBTQ Issues

By way of clarification, I do not believe being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, or queer is a problem in and of itself. However, experience working with GLBTQ persons has shown me there are some unique adjustment issues associated with loving a person of the same gender or having gender identity questions. The adjustment issues may be a function of dealing with societal and/or familial discrimination, learning self-acceptance in a society that reared you to believe that loving someone of the same gender is wrong, and/or deciding how much, when, and with whom to be public about your sexual posture.

Being uncomfortable with your biological gender presents a whole array of problems in that you must decide what you will do in terms the role you will play in relationships, whether or not to seek a surgical solution, deciding when or if you will share your feelings with those in your life, and gaining self-acceptance.

I have also been privileged to work with same-sex couples. It has been my experience that same-sex couples by and large have the same dynamics present as do heterosexual couples. However, concerns unique to same-sex couples may include the following:

  • Frustration with lack of same-sex relationship role models and determining how to shape the relationship
  • Differences in terms of how much the couple will be part of the homosexual community and how much they will be out to the heterosexual community
  • Differences in terms of how much families are aware of the relationship and/or accept the couple
  • Frustration with not being able to have a societally sanctioned ceremony legitimizing the relationship and deciding how to deal with this
  • Making decisions about having and rearing children particularly when the state of residence will not allow adoption by a gay/lesbian person
  • Deciding how and if you will be sexual together since the same societal sanctions against being a LGBTQ person apply to having sex with a person of the same gender. These internalized sanctions can create guilt and unease with expressing yourselves sexually.
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