The Paradox of Forgiveness in Dealing with Affairs

It is a given that resolution of an affair involves forgiveness. However, in my work, I have often noticed the following. The persons who had the affair often want forgiveness sooner than the wronged partners are ready to provide it. Sometimes this can create anger and/or frustration on the part of the persons who have had the affair because they...[ read more ]

“Does that make sense?”

One of the points I make in my introductory materials is that "I talk with you and not at you." One of the manifestations of talking with you is to share with you what I see going on in your relationship. The latter may involve identifying repetitive patterns, talking about indicators of how your rearing or other relational experiences may...[ read more ]

A Field of Dreams

As I said in my first blog entry, this ongoing project would be an effort to share insights and to let each of you know how I think and work. I just finished watching "A Field of Dreams," a film I had not seen for many years. I was struck by the intensity of feeling portrayed in the film as...[ read more ]

An Introduction

The process of therapy is an odd enterprise in that two strangers come together, and you are to share intimate information with me with little mutual sharing going on. I am always aware of this imbalance in the relationship, but this odd dynamic is what makes therapy work. More specifically, by the conversations being focused on you, you do not...[ read more ]

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